"Martians, Venusians, and Networking" - The differences between male and female networkers by Dr. Ivan Misner and Hazel Walker.

Source: http://successnet.czcommunity.com/from-the-founder/martians-venusians-and-networking/4063/

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but networking is just networking, right? Or is it?

Over the years we have worked with both men and women to grow their businesses by referral, and recently, as part of a study, we have observed the differences between how men and women network. In particular, we have noted how the genders utilize the VCP Process differently.

Every relationship, regardless of its nature, goes through a process. In the world of networking, the process of building a business relationship is called the VCP Process. Following are the steps in the VCP Process:

Visibility - This is the point in the relationship at which individuals first meet. They might simply have a conversation, trade contact information, and move on. This might happen several times. At this stage, individuals merely have to remember one another and have some basic knowledge of the other.

Credibility - This is the second phase of the relationship. In this phase, two individuals have interacted several times and trust one another. The longer they know, work with, and support each other, the deeper their credibility and trust. At this phase of the relationship the two networking partners begin to trust and help each other—and the relationship continues to grow.

Profitability - This is the third phase of the relationship. At this point, two networking partners completely trust each other, open their networks and customer databases to each other, and proactively help each other. Each has a deeper understanding of the other’s business and knows how to develop referrals and connections as well as open doors.

The Transactional vs. the Personal Networking Relationship

Since the days of hunting and gathering, there have been assumptions about the genders and how each experiences the world differently. So there remains today a fascination with the differences between men and women. As networkers, we are specifically curious about how men and women use the VCP Process differently—and how that impacts the sales process.

One key difference is women generally work the VCP Process more slowly. Women often spend a great deal of time at the Visibility stage—individually getting to know those in their network. Remarkably, we have witnessed that many women will work the VCP Process expertly up until the point where they achieve optimum Credibility; suddenly, they stall the process. At that point it won’t move forward to the next level of Profitability.

We cannot yet say for sure why this happens. But we’ve hypothesized that many women are hesitant to directly ask for a sale or a referral, for fear of overstepping their boundaries and losing credibility. Instead, they wait to be asked about what referrals or sales they are looking for. If their networking partners never ask, then these women often don’t enter into the Profitability stage.

Another key difference we’ve observed is that, generally speaking, men have a propensity to work the VCP Process in a far more transactional way than women. A significant percentage of the male networkers we have studied tend to start the relationship building process with Visibility and then prematurely move the relationship to the Profitability phase by asking for business and referrals before it is appropriate to do so. These same men will quickly start the process over again if the relationship in which they asked for a referral or a sale does not prove to be profitable.

Does genetic makeup have anything to do with why a compelling number of female networkers excel in the Visibility and Credibility phases of building relationships but fall flat when it comes to the final phase of Profitability, and why such a prominent portion of male networkers tend to jump blindly from Visibility into Profitability?

Interesting and mysterious, these differences are the basis for our upcoming book, Business Networking and Sex. If we can learn more about how the two genders are different and alike at the same time, we can learn to be more effective at the entire networking process. And to us, that’s very exciting!

If you’re curious about whether our observations about men and women and how they network may prove to be genetically determined, take five minutes to complete our survey and be a part of helping us find out!

Tell us what you think! Do men and women network differently? If so, how?

Hazel Walker is the Executive Director for BNI - Central Indiana as well as a franchise owner for the Referral Institute. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and travels the world speaking to business professionals on a variety of topics. You can read her blog at www.hazelmwalker.com

Called the father of modern networking by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the founder and chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. His latest New York Times best selling book, The 29% Solution, can be viewed at 29PercentSolution.com. Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company. He can be reached at misner@bni.com.

殘奧金牌運動員 天生無手打遍天下 退下乒乓球桌 轉任牧師分享經歷

(明報)2009年10月28日 星期三 05:10
http://news.mingpao.com/20091028/gzc1.htm
44歲的萊納•施密特（Rainer Schmidt）天生無手，卻能在乒乓球界打遍天下。這位德國 殘障奧運 （Paralympic Games）七朝元老 ，去年於北京 完成最後一場賽事後退役，搖身一變成為牧師，上周四到訪本港中學，更與聽障學生切磋球技。觀眾無不為其球技讚歎之際，他坦言曾因自己天生有限制而感到「羞愧」，「當外婆知道我天生沒有手臂，立即建議母親送我到養護機構！幸好父母沒有這樣做」。
施密特上周到聖公會林護紀念中學演講前接受訪問，當記者跟他點頭問好時，他則微笑伸出右手上臂，記者首次與受訪者「握臂」問候。在眾多運動之中，施密特偏偏選擇講求雙手高度協調的乒乓球，更成為國際球壇矚目的金牌名將，他坦言要克服身體限制，全因深信這句話︰「Lieber Arm ab als arm dran」（寧可缺手，不做可憐的孩子）。

座右銘：寧可缺手 不做可憐的孩子
「Arm在德文有兩個意思，名詞可解作手臂，形容詞則可解作『可憐的』，德語『arm dran』意即『可憐的孩子』。」他說，在2004年更以此概念出版第一本書《Lieber Arm ab als arm dran》（中文名︰《寧可缺手，但無缺憾》），全因一段童年經歷啟發。
施密特出生在德國西部的嘉德洛特（Gaderoth），那裏是一條只有450人的鄉下小村莊，他說︰「外婆見到我自出娘胎肢體發育不健全，便向鄰居高呼︰這個孩子沒有手臂！這個孩子沒有手臂！然後建議母親送我到養護機構，幸好父母沒有這樣做。」施密特天生右腿特短，且有紅綠色盲，但他表示，自小活於一個充滿愛的家庭，童年沒意識到自己跟別人有何不同，直到有次逛街，迎面見到一名陌生男子露出奇異目光。

長短腳兼色盲 幸父母不離棄
「當那男人看見我穿上義肢沒有雙臂的樣子，立即以苦惱表情說︰arm dran！（可憐的孩子！）」施密特嚴肅地說︰「當時我感到很奇怪，為何自己生活愉快，別人總覺得我是可憐呢？」他指弟弟當時聽到那男人的說話，立即大聲反駁對方︰「我哥哥不是可憐的！他只是沒有雙臂！」訪問期間，他感到口渴，職員為他遞上樽裝水時拉開樽蓋，他用雙臂接過水樽，夾著喝了幾口，動作靈活。
「知道嗎？人們往往自動將痛苦、無人照顧、窮困、眼淚等等畫上等號，大多數人腦海產生這個印象，他們會同情這些『可憐』的孩子，為這樣的人搖頭嘆息。」施密特表示，經歷青春期時特別痛苦，「覺得自己好像是個瑕疵品」，幸而12歲時，他首次加入洪堡乒乓球協會，教練發現他用雙臂夾起乒乓球拍練習十分投入，為他裝上控球義肢，發覺他甚有潛質。14歲時，他成為德國殘障乒乓球聯盟成員，展開專業球員訓練，從此創出一項又一項輝煌賽績。

與女友分手 決讀神學認識信仰
少年總有感情煩惱，施密特年輕時亦不例外，他不時暗自跟弟弟比較，「弟弟長得比我帥，而且四肢健全，當他10多歲有女友時，我心想︰嘻！我也不錯呀，何時才有女友？」到他17歲時，有女孩主動向他示愛，他笑說︰「終於有女孩對我有好感！雖然我沒有接受她的愛意，但十分感謝她的好意，令我更明白，兩人在一起，不是靠雙手維繫，而是看重雙方人品。」到了26歲，他本來快要跟女友結婚，但因相處問題而分手，促使他決定修讀神學，認識信仰。
曾拿過7次殘障奧運、七次世界盃 及十次歐洲盃殘障運動項目等獎項，施密特仍然會懷念昔日的比賽生涯，但為了追隨感興趣的信仰，故當上牧師，到處跟青年分享人生經歷，「每個人都有自己的限制，但每個人也都有突破限制的可能！關鍵在於你如何對待它、如何運用它」。他表示，自己寧願沒有手臂，也不願做一個可憐的人，對於生活上的限制，「會學習平心靜氣地接納它們」。

(明報記者 彭碧珊)

打劫善賊繳械跪地祈禱(咁又話"騎呢")

美國青年Gregory Smith(23歲)，前天持槍打劫印第安納波利斯一家財務公司，女職員苦口婆心向他講耶穌，他即良心發現下跪與她一同禱告10分鐘，又透露養兒艱難才作賊，繼而取出子彈將槍交給她，並互相擁抱安慰；到最後他只取去20元鈔票及她的手機後逃去，卻又於翌日自首。這離奇過程被閉路電視攝下，成為最不可思議的械劫實錄。
(摘自：http://www.am730.com.hk/old_issue/issue/2009/200910/20091023/default1.html?startpage=27)

Google「大石砸死蟹」- 作品掃描上網捱轟、惹中國作家不滿

搜尋網站巨擘Google自04年起，將圖書掃描，供美國讀者查閱，當中包括570位中國作家共逾1.7萬部中文著作，此舉引起中國作家的不滿，投訴Google侵權。Google為此提出和解條款，同意和解的作家將獲每本著作60美元(約465港元)賠償，還可以獲分網上閱讀收入，但中國作家狠批Google欠缺誠意。「中國文字著作權協會」表示，直至上月1日，Google已將570位中國作家逾1.7萬本作品掃描，放入其網上圖書館內，協會呼籲中國作家登錄網站，查看自己的作品有否被收入該圖書館內。報道指，Google為平息作家怒火，提出和解條款，分為「同意」及「不同意」，選擇同意的作家，其每本著作可獲得60美元賠償，以後還可獲得63%的網上閱讀收入，但有關作家須於明年6月5日前提出申請，否則視同放棄；而選擇不同意條款的作家亦須在明年1月5日前提出訴訟。不過，此條款令作家們更憤怒，中國作家陳村揶揄，「Google何不把《哈利波特》掃上去，再給羅琳60美元，看她幹不幹。」 有內地律師亦批評，Google既然願意賠償，卻又規定了提出申請的時間，有失誠意。中國作家協會將聯同更多作者向Google抗議，又計劃與中國作協等部門，發布聯合聲明，以維護中國作家的權益。惟美國亞太法律學院秘書長孫遠釗指，中國作家在與Google這般大機構的訴訟難獲勝。
(摘自：http://www.am730.com.hk/old_issue/issue/2009/200910/20091023/default1.html?startpage=21)

香港極大羞恥的全球第一：香港貧富懸殊全球最嚴重

美國《商業周刊》引述聯合國開發組織(UNDP)，在全球先進經濟體中，香港貧富差距最大，新加坡第二。UNDP將先進經濟體的堅尼指數，以0到100分來計算，0代表最平等均富，100則是貧富差距最大。香港以43.4分成為貧富最不均的地區，新加坡則以42.5分排第二，美國排第三(40.8分)，以色列排第四(39.2)。報告指出，有較多富豪居港，本港是全球擁有最大的公共房屋體系之一，逾半人口居住在公屋，以及工人無最低工資保障，亦令貧富差距拉闊。香港社區組織協會認為這實在是香港作為全球先進經濟發展地區的「極大羞恥」，促請當局正視問題，落實全方位的扶貧政策。
(摘自：http://www.am730.com.hk/old_issue/issue/2009/200910/20091023/default1.html?startpage=17)

觸動我的愛情故事 - 高錕50年婚姻

高錕太太黃美芸說，以前那個人已經走了；但對於我們這些一直只是遠距離知道高錕的旁人，透過電視新聞片見到的高錕，就是以前那個高錕。那純真如孩子的微笑，今昔一樣，有寧神作用。患上老人癡呆症的高錕仍然得以保持他的招牌微笑，照顧他的身邊人功不可沒。我們不是不知道這個病可以帶來的折騰。新聞片見到的黃美芸，彷彿鑲了一圈亮光，真美。或者人生都是有悲苦的，但上帝總不會置人於完全的絕境。高黃50年婚姻，都是彼此的一粒糖。
聽黃美芸淡淡地跟記者說：「你知道這個人以前是怎樣，這個病將他改變，以前那個人已經走了……」我腦袋當時閃出的卻是幾個大字：活著就好，活著真好。即使他已不是以前那個他，但此刻兩個人仍然手牽手同行，共享諾貝爾物理學獎的榮譽和歡欣……勝過人間無數。不少人把高錕獲獎視為激勵人心的驕陽故事，但更觸動我的是當中的愛情故事，尤其最近幾年的章節。
http://www.am730.com.hk/old_issue/issue/2009/200910/20091012/default1.html?startpage=3
（本文作者是商台黃昏節目「左右大局」主持人）- 李慧玲）

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